Tuesday, December 15, 2009

December 15, 2009

Things are busy around here these days. We are getting ready for Christmas and also working on finalizing our plans for the new house. We still have not sold our current house but, if it is God's will, I know it will happen in His timing. In the meantime, we still have much to do before we would be ready to begin building anyway. I have hopes that when we are finally ready, we will be in the process of selling our home but I know God's timing is perfect and He knows so much more than we do so I will continue to trust in Him.

Tonight I am sitting with the boys as they fall asleep. Most of the time the boys still take naps these days, although sometimes we just can't fit it in. On those days, I always end up feeling badly because Nick just ends up falling apart and his behavior is just really bad and then I feel bad because I know he normally does not act that way when he has had a nap. And if he has to skip it two days in a row, look out. It is going to be really bad. He still needs his nap so badly but Ben really could go without it now and do pretty well probably.

In other news, the boys will start swimming lessons in early January and go once a week through the second week of May. It is a great place and they like what they have seen there (we have been there twice and they have watched other kids taking lessons). I anticipate the first 2 or 3 weeks might be a bit difficult, from what other moms and the people who work there have told me, but after that the kids usually start to really enjoy it and learn fast.

Merry Christmas!


kristin said...

Have you tried time out? We would make and still do sometimes Klaire stand in the corner for 4 minutes around that age. (A minute per age) It is to the point and they can not talk or move around. Then they have to say they are sorry for the actions. Maybe the fact that the punishment is so far off, it is not effective. One thing about using the "naughty corner" is you have one anywhere! Also just keep it up. I mean if he turns around and does something again, put him back in the corner for another 4 minutes. We do the same thing with "sassy" talk and then say, "Would you want me to talk to you that way?" I know it is hard! I understand! I hope school too! Keep it up! Thinking of you! Oh we also did a chart with a reward "movie in the theater" that she had to earn once. That worked at 4. She was very excited to "earn" a movie after so many chips in the jar. That reforces positive behavior.
Just suggestions. Hope they help.

Lea said...

Hi Kristin,

Thanks for the suggestions. Time out is the consequence we use most frequently, although we allow them to sit in the corner. The issue with N is that he has this huge thing against time out. When you tell him he has to go to time out, he runs away screaming that he will not go EVERY TIME. Then it became this thing where he would end up getting swats every time just to get him to time out and then he would try to hit me when I forcefully put him in the corner. So now I have started holding him in the basket hold so he can't hit me. He has to sit until he can sit with me nicely and control himself. When it comes to consequences, he is a very difficult one to figure out.

Maybe if I change the location and start calling it the naughty corner and make him stand, he won't have the extreme negative reaction he has with "time out". You just never know:). I'll try anything at this point.

Thanks again for the suggestions.

kristin said...

Oh, yes, try the standing. One thing about the chart was I cut out pictures of things we didn't like. Like no yelling, so I had a picture of yelling. etc, this was a visual thing so she could see it. Then I would warn her and say what is on the chart? Do you want to gain or lose a chip. You could have something like being quiet in the "naughty corner." We had a set of 8 things and I lamanated and used it all summer when she was 4. Think of a "prize" after a week, or even a day and then work up to longer times to earn things. This puts it back into their hands. Have one for each boy too. Maybe the competition would be good. B may earn one faster than N. Just a thought again. Good luck.

scubajoe said...

Hi my son 3 and half(from Russia at 13 months), will also not do timeouts and hit me and throw things because he is so out of control. I started going to a child pychologist and her suggestions have really helped and also helped me talking out the issues. She recomended a kitchen timer for timeouts and that has helped(not completely). Also she recomended giving out prizes for doing what is asked of him, and that has really made a huge improvement. The pychologyst says its like what the animal trainers do at the dolphin shows, we are training, so they do what we tell him. The prizes are matchbox cars or whatever I know he will like, its not new ones, I just pick up the ones he leaves around and put them in the prize box, mixing in a new one every week, to keep it interesting. We used to have daily battles over bath and teethbrushing ... and now I just tell him he will get a prize after he does it and he is ready go! Also it has solved the get out of the car battle. (my son would not want to get out of the car when we got home). I think its not so much the car/toy but the idea that he got it as a prize .. that makes him feel proud of himself.

Next we have to work on the listening skills, which the pychologist said were very poor. My son will not sit still to read a book....we only read the books on tape in the car because he knows he is strapped in!